I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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