Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
