I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
