singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
