He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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