When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
