Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
