In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
