I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
