look no pants
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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