I'm gonna have a badass scar
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
