going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
