I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
