what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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