Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
