as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
