It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
