Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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