I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
she smelled like a LAN party
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize