got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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