Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
