She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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