You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
