Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
