I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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