is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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