How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
