I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
