if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
