Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize