Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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