He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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