I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
