there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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