no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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