TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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