I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
