Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We were destined to go to rehab together
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
