Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize