ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
no you cant smoke seaweed
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize