And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I need to sanitize my soul.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
