Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
