Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize