his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
