Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
