Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
