we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm just crazy horny about you
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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