The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
