it wasn't lemon gatorade
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
