its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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