the condom got lost in my hair
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize