If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
