Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
