so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
